I’ve come to realize that January is a very stressful time for me. It’s a time when my social media feed is full of resolutions, focus words and goals. It should be a new start, it should be a time for reflection…it’s a time for me to feel like I should get my act together.
Giving Myself Grace
But the problem is feeling like I need to make resolutions or goals for the year or that I should come up with a theme word for the upcoming year just isn’t working for me right now. I’ve noticed that for the past few years my favorite week of the year, the week between Christmas and New Years, has been less joyful. I feel pressure (only from myself, not from anyone else) to get my act together by January 1 and you know what? It sucks.
So I have decide that I am going to start this year by giving myself grace. What do I mean by that? I mean giving myself a break…no real goal setting, no theme word for the year, no resolutions. I’ve never really been a goal setting kind of girl anyway.
Of course, I want to improve and grow as a person and a business owner but the idea of SMART goals makes me feel itchy all over. I’ve never liked super detailed schedules. If I have to plan my day in 15 minute increments, I feel like I’m in a straight-jacket. The more I read about what the “successful” people do (I am NOT getting up at 4AM every day, you can just forget it), the more “less than” I feel. The older I get, the more I learn that I need to do things my way and I need to give myself the grace to do it.
So what does giving myself grace look like? Well for me it is…
Giving My Body Grace
This fall/winter I had planned to run two half marathons which would have been my 5th and 6th big races. Unfortunately a few weeks before the 1st race in October, I slipped a disk in my back and could hardly sit, let alone run 13.1 miles. As much as I wanted to do this race with my husband and friends, I followed my doctor’s advice and gave my body the grace (the time) to heal. That didn’t leave a lot of time to train for the 2nd race the Disney Half Marathon in January but I did what I could…again I needed the grace to do what I could do and not push too hard. Unfortunately that race was cancelled due to bad weather. At first I was upset but then the charity team my husband and I were running for (Team Fox raising money for the Michael J. Fox Foundation for Parkinson’s Research) decided to create our own run at one of the Disney resort hotels and we had a ball. So I gave myself the grace to enjoy another reality than the one in my head.
One side effect of all the training I did is that I actually gained some weight. I know, it’s ironic, you exercise more but you gain pounds, and no, it is not all muscle weight. Trust me! I need to give my body grace from junky food…too many carbs, too many sweets, not enough fruits and veggies. I want my body to feel good again. But I also need to give myself grace to make mistakes, have slip-ups and to enjoy the occasional slice of cake.No New Year resolution for me this year, I'm giving myself grace instead. On the. #blog Click To Tweet
Giving My Family Grace
I am a peri-menopausal woman running my own business, raising (surviving?) two teenagers and married to a man who works 50-60 hours a week while also training for triathlons. I feel stress, pressure and craziness all the time and I know this carries over to how I act towards and interact with my family. I need to give my family grace…I need to speak more gently to them, we need to spend more quality time together, we just need to be. I know my time with my kids at home is limited and I want to enjoy them to the fullest.
Giving My Business Grace
I’ve never been one of these people that needed to make a high salary to feel successful. In fact all of my professional life has either been for small non-profits or working for myself. I’m very fortunate that my husband has a good job and provides for all of our basic needs. My income has always been the cushion, the fun money, the lets-put-something-extra-aside money. I’ve never approached my business in such a way that I needed to grow my income by X% every year in order to be successful. The way I would like to give my business grace is to stop comparing myself to others. My home organizing business doesn’t look like anyone else’s, my photo organizing business is my own creation, my blog is not like Blogs X, Y, and Z and I need to give myself the grace to be okay with that.
When it comes down to it, I guess do have a theme word for the year…it is GRACE. One of the definitions of grace is “the quality or state of being considerate or thoughtful.” I don’t think we allow ourselves enough consideration and thoughtfulness. So that is my goal this year, to give myself grace. You can’t measure that with any kind of metrics. It’s the kind of goal you just know when you’ve met it.
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